The Curious Case of Benjamin Crying

I accidentally cried in front of people. And by people I mean my mom and grandma.

And now, they think I’m unstable.

I’m on a work trip and these women call, text, and FaceTime every hour at least.

I’m not that sensitive, I promise, but every time they call and ask “How are you feeling?” “Are you okay?” “Have you eaten?” I cry again. Their care means so much to me that it makes me cry, bruh. 

Which then makes them think I’m even less okay.

I don’t know what’s going on lately. I’ve been such a crybaby.

My friend was having her own mental breakdown here yesterday. Something that had absolutely nothing to do with me. The moment she started crying, I started crying too.

Why? It just made me so sad that she can’t see how well she’s been doing.

And yes, I’m an empath. I always have been.

But WHAT THE HELL is going on?

In case you’re wondering why I cried in front of my mom and grandma before I came on this trip, it was because I was being a spoiled brat who didn’t want to go to work.

It was two hours before my flight and the tears would not stop streaming down my face.

Whenever they asked what was wrong, I’d just say, very brattily:

“I don’t want to work anymore. I want to stay home. I want to retire.”

My mom and grandma are two of the hardest workers I know. They genuinely never take breaks. I think that’s exactly why they understand how badly I needed one.

My grandma even offered to pay whatever it would take to break my contract so I wouldn’t have to come. “It’s not worth it,” she said. And then I started crying even more. Because I told her I didn’t want her enabling this behavior. I need to face my own consequences. Which then made HER cry. 

Anyway.

I’ve been crying for four days straight now and I don’t know how to stop.

The weird thing is that for years now, I haven’t really cried cried. Unless it was a movie, I never really sat down and cried about something upsetting me. Even though so much of that happens.

This has actually been a topic with my close friends for years. They always tell me: “You need to cry.” Well. I hope you guys are happy now. The dam has broken. The floodgates are open. The waters have arrived. And apparently they are making up for lost time.

Anyway, good to be here again, e-friends, 

Talk again soon!

FFB

**Also, if anyone has a way to explain to my grandmother that me crying because she loves me is not actually evidence that I’m having a breakdown, please let me know.