Blugh blekh, bruhh

Hello, lovely readers, 

It feels both comforting and strange to be writing this blog post right now. Comforting because it’s an outlet for me to organize some scattered chaos in my head and to somehow/someway manage what I’ve been going through. Strange because I’m in the midst of a total burnout, feeling utterly exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed. 

These past few weeks have been an intense whirlwind of multiple deadlines, pushing myself to the limits and sacrificing much-needed rest. The weight of it all has taken a toll on my mind, body, and soul. I find myself physically drained and emotionally fragile, desperately needing a moment of respite. 

The only reason I’m sitting here, pushing through the exhaustion, and writing this blog post is because I’m trying to maintain some sense of discipline in my life. Writing has always been my solace, my way of processing emotions and finding clarity amidst the chaos. So, here I am, sharing this small update, even though I have no idea what to do or how to feel in this period of time. 

In the midst of this overwhelming exhaustion, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the blessings that surround me. I’m aware of the love, support, and opportunities that have come my way. And yet, despite this awareness, I find myself feeling too tired to fully embrace and appreciate them.

In addition to all that, there’s another layer of pain that I’ve been grappling with. I recently made a decision that has left me deeply hurt and confused, questioning an entire year of my life. Something I never thought I would come to do. It feels like I’m standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. It’s a constant battle to find the strength to move forward, and has been weighing heavily on my heart. The journey of questioning and doubting oneself can be a treacherous one, I tell you. (tries not to cry).

But through it all, I’m reminded of the resilience within me. I’ve faced challenges before and come out stronger on the other side. This burnout, this emotional overwhelm, it’s just another storm I have to weather. I know that with time, “self-care”, and the support of loved ones, (*suspiciously looks at herself in the mirror*), I will find my way back to clarity and strength.

It’s okay to feel lost and unsure during times like these. It’s okay to question what the future holds. What matters is that we keep pushing forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time. (things I need to constantly remind myself of).

With gratitude and a weary heart,

FFB