Palestine

I’ve wanted to post for a few days now, but something inside me refuses to discuss anything other than the GENOCIDE that is happening in our world right now. Everything seems small, life doesn’t feel real, there is no fucking way. No fucking way this is happening in this day and age.

This takes me back to when I was a child, merely 6-7 years old, deeply afraid of going to sleep alone, keeping the lights on, holding my brother’s hand in a totally safe country, why was I afraid? What scared me? Not ghosts, not monsters but ISRAELI SOLDIERS.

There was a place in our SAFE home where my brother (3 years older than me) and I were terrified of, it was an entryway to a bathroom on the first floor (we lived mostly upstairs), this entryway was quite large, with no working lights. 2 days ago, in a conversation about what is happening, I told my brother I always thought that entryway was a good hiding spot for Israeli soldiers, that’s why it scared me, and to both our surprise; he said this was the reason he “hated” it too.

I’ve been sitting here thinking, if this was the way two kids who were MILES away from what’s happening, completely safe and cared for, were feeling, how do the kids in Gaza feel?

I feel deeply ashamed of myself for “forgetting” my brothers and sisters in Palestine for years. My sole explanation (not excuse) is that we, as a collective, were exposed to such monstrosity as Arab/Muslim children and were genuinely traumatized as a result. They scared us, and we got scared. Again, if this is us… how do THEY feel?

I have been watching videos of the children in Gaza and I can proudly say they are SO MUCH stronger than we ever were. It is both inspiring and incredibly heartbreaking to see children with such mature eyes.

I am now reminded, I am now in a furious state and have no idea what to say or do except pray and feel for them, and keep spreading the word as a way of resistance.

I am in disbelief, speechless, but also FILLED with incoherent thoughts and emotions.

It is repulsive and horrifying to live in a world where something like this is feasible and is STILL up for debate. (!!!)

I am a coward who’s always shielded herself from “politics”, but today, it’s not that, today, it’s humanity.

I will be taking a break from this blog for a while. I will be educating myself and whoever needs it. Even if Palestine is only in our hearts for now, I will do all within my power to keep it present.

Thanks,

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