In Defense of Valentine’s Day

Hello and Happy Valentine’s Day to those celebrating! 

I know, I know- Valentine’s Day is a “capitalist holiday.” (Blah blah– boohoo!) The prices of flowers mysteriously triples, restaurants push their overpriced “romantic” set menus, and every brand suddenly remembers that love exists (conveniently, in the form of something you should buy). And yet… I absolutely love it. Count me happily scammed.

There’s something undeniably sweet about a day that’s dedicated to love. Sure, we should celebrate love all year long, but let’s be honest- life gets in the way. We get caught up in work, deadlines, and the general chaos of existence. So if there’s one day that reminds people to pause, be sentimental, and shower their loved ones with affection, why not embrace it? (for one day, please, don’t be too cynical, please?)

I love seeing people carrying big bouquets and heart-shaped balloons in the streets. I love the cheesy Instagram posts, the over-the-top date nights, and even the chaotic last-minute gift shopping. There’s an infectious warmth in the air, a collective agreement that, for at least one day, love deserves to be front and center.

And when I say love, I don’t put it in a box reserved only for lovers. Valentine’s Day is about love, friendship, family, and all the little moments of it that make life worth it. It’s about sending your friend a ridiculous chocolate box to remind them you adore them. It’s about booking yourself a massage session just because you deserve it. It’s about calling your mom and telling her you love her (because let’s be real, she probably doesn’t hear it enough).

But if I pause for one second, close my eyes, think about love (real, consuming love) it’s never as simple as roses and chocolates. Love, at its most powerful, is impossible to contain. I think Franz Kafka captured it best when he wrote to Milena, “I belong to you, there is really no other way of expressing it, and that is not strong enough.” That’s the kind of love that shakes us to our core; the kind that transcends language, defies logic, and makes the world feel both too small and too vast at the same time. 

Sometimes, we crave that overwhelming kind of love, the kind that feels like it could swallow us whole. Olivia Pope said it out loud when she stood there, desperate and demanding: “I don’t want normal and easy and simple… I want… I want—” And Edison, having just offered her “the perfect marriage” exasperated, asked, “What? What do you want, Olivia?” And she said it, (clearly drowning in thought about Fitz) the thing so many people are afraid to admit: “I want painful… difficult… devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Don’t you want that too?” 

And yes yes, like Edison responded, “Love is not supposed to be painful or devastating, love isn’t supposed to hurt, Liv”. Sometimes, love is soft. Sometimes, it’s quiet and safe, steady in a way that doesn’t need to be dramatic to be extraordinary.

I think love is both; the chaos and the calm, the overwhelming and the effortless, all wrapped up in the same feeling. Maybe that’s why we keep chasing it, trying to define it, trying to put words to something that’s never meant to fit neatly into language. 

And again, yes, Valentine’s Day is a little ridiculous, a little commercial, and a little predictable. But it’s also my favorite holiday. Because at the end of the day, love-whether it’s as painful as a “you are the knife I turn inside myself” as Kafka describes, or as soft as “the morning light and the folded wings of quiet birds” as F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote; it deserves to be celebrated.

So, once again, Happy Valentine’s Day to those who get it! 

Spread your love around the cosmos,

It’s the day to do it, dearest readers,

XOXO

FFB