It’s Too Late to Apologiiihiize

Hello, dear readers

I’m back!

For the past month, I stepped away from the familiar rhythm of writing and publishing, seeking solace in the pause. But as the days turned into weeks, I discovered an undeniable longing, a yearning to once again express myself through the written word. 

I was, in a sense, grieving for humanity as a whole, as well as the people of Gaza. I’m making a conscious effort not to indulge too much on the negative feelings I’ve been experiencing lately and to avoid writing about them here too much as I think it would diminish their significance. (valid? Perhaps not. But it’s how I feel right now). 

I wanted to give myself the time and space to reflect and educate myself on the issues we’re all facing today. However, it became increasingly clear that blogging had become an integral part of my life. The act of writing had become a cathartic release, a way to process my thoughts and emotions. 

Anyway! I come today with a short topic… something small to pave my way back into this world. The difficulty of apologizing when I don’t perceive myself to be in the wrong. It is a situation that many of us have encountered. The complexities of apologies, the importance of self-awareness and how empathy plays a pivotal role in this delicate process.

I have always prided myself on being fair, striving to always treat others with respect and love (sparkles). This belief runs deep within me, heavily shaping my interactions and decisions. When conflicts arise, I am keen on assessing the situation objectively, evaluating my actions and intentions against a moral compass. This deep commitment to fairness, however, makes it difficult to apologize if I don’t genuinely believe I am wrong.

While fairness is a “noble virtue”, it is important to recognize that our perception of a situation does not always align with reality. Biases, emotions and personal experiences can cloud our judgment, making it challenging to see our own mistakes. Acknowledging this inherent human tendency is vital in understanding humility and openness to the possibility of being wrong. (AAH! THE HORROR!).

After some “pondering”, I can now say that I genuinely believe, and please bear with me here, that we are all mistaken, all the time.

مجودي يقول: كلنا مخطين.. والله كلنا

Maybe not with the initial conflict of each situation, but perhaps with what transpires either before or after. As long as the conflict itself involves more than one person, then we could all be in the wrong. 

Empathy… is one of the most crucial aspects of human relationships. It is through listening to others, genuinely considering their povs and embracing the inevitability of our own fallibility that we can navigate the complexities of such events. 

I am a stubborn person, so I’ve heard (eye-roll). I often take my own side and flee. If I didn’t “start” it, then I am not wrong. 

وطق راسك في الجدر

But admittedly, I was severely humbled on occasions after allowing myself to listen to the other person; which often happens after a long period of isolation and silent-treatment. (don’t try this at home).

Empathy enables us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to comprehend the impact of our actions or in many cases; reactions. Even if we believe ourselves to be fair, empathy makes us consider the possibility of our unintentional harm, which we mostly find it harder to apologize for.

So ya… 

Let us continue to navigate this delicate process with humility, compassion and a commitment to personal growth.

With love,

FFB x